The Rollercoaster of Love: For our first son!!

One fateful evening, after hearing heartbreaking news from the doctor, my husband gently proposed the idea of adoption. I was utterly overwhelmed, as adoption was a path I had never even considered, and my thoughts swirled in a whirlwind of shock and confusion. I asked him to give me time to pray and process this life-altering idea, my heart heavy yet yearning for clarity. In a moment of quiet reflection, I felt a comforting presence, and I heard God’s gentle whisper assuring me that He was with us, no matter the choice we made. In that divine moment, my fears melted away, were replaced by a sense of peace and I knew that this was the journey that God had wanted us to walk.

In that season, I was wrapped in a serenity so profound, it felt like a divine confirmation of our journey to parenthood. The overwhelming joy of becoming new parents was accompanied by an unfamiliar fear, as adoption isn't the usual route to parenting. Yet, amidst the emotional rollercoaster, we still stuck through this absurdity.

So, we dove headfirst into a mountain of reading, from psychological write-ups to spiritual musings, and wouldn't you know it, God, in His delightful sense of humour, started sending adoptive parents our way. It was like a cosmic matchmaking service and each conversation was like a warm hug, reassuring us more and more that we were absolutely destined for this, like finding the last puzzle piece under the couch after days of searching.

In October of 2019, we bravely submitted our adoption application, bought a baby cot and shared the news with our unsuspecting families. The shockwaves were palpable! In Kenya, adoption is often shrouded in suspicion and misunderstanding. People couldn’t wrap their minds around the concept, thinking an adopted child was somehow an outsider. We were bombarded with questions: "Why not have your own biological children first?" or "Why raise someone else’s child?" These inquiries, fuelled by cultural beliefs and misconceptions, became a comical yet exhausting part of our new reality. Even now, the churchy folks assure us that God has our biological kids on backorder. Despite the scepticism, we stand firm in our choice, knowing that love makes a family, not just biology. We sought to educate those around us about the beauty and importance of adoption and to challenge the negative stereotypes that existed.

In October of 2020, a heartfelt post on Facebook caught the eye of my high school class teacher, who reached out and suggested that we reapply for adoption through a private agency. The journey was fraught with forms, interviews, medical tests, and a myriad of due diligence with government agencies but, divine whispers began to echo through our dreams and the voices of loved ones. My sister-cousin, Mama Ashley, dreamt of a handsome, light-skinned baby boy joining our family, and Mama Delight envisioned a celebration of new life shared by both our mothers in the same month. Miraculously, her dream came true as our son arrived the very month her own son was born. God's promise resonated in my own dreams, assuring us of an exceptionally brilliant and beautiful child. These celestial assurances bolstered our spirits and steeled our determination.

Early in 2021, as the government lifted its directive on adoption, February brought the culmination of our hopes—we were matched with our adorable, chubby, fair-skinned son, our precious "mzungu," lighting up our lives with boundless joy and fulfillment.

The day we finally met our son was a whirlwind of emotions, starting with a pre-dawn departure from Nairobi at 5 am filled with fear, anxiety, and excitement. The journey felt like an eternity, and I grappled with feeling like an imposter mother, a sentiment that lingered for months after his placement. I also struggled with pity, questioning why a birth mother would entrust another to care for her child. Amidst feeling unworthy, God healed my heart, reminding me of His presence and the divine purpose He had for our son's life through us. At 8:30 am, seeing our boy for the first time, perfection embodied, made every step of the journey worthwhile. Holding him brought an overwhelming sense of love and gratitude, reducing our fears to insignificance. By 9 pm, he was home, our hearts full, and with immense gratitude, we thank Titus & Wangui, Ann & Wilber—you are our family mpende msipende.

In sharing our story, we hope to inspire others who may be on a similar path. Adoption is a journey filled with highs and lows, but it is also a journey that brings extraordinary rewards. Our son is a testament to the beauty of love and the strength of the human spirit. He is our greatest joy, and we are forever grateful for the journey that brought him into our lives16.

As we continue to navigate the ever-changing landscape of parenthood, we do so with hearts full of love and gratitude. The anxiety, excitement, and fear that once defined our journey have given way to a deep and abiding sense of purpose. Our son is our greatest adventure, and we are honoured to be his parents