Married, No Children…………. Remain Married!!!

“Be fruitful and multiply. . .” (Genesis 1:28). The command to procreate appears ingrained in the fiber of our being and the inability to conceive causes great pain; emotionally, intellectually, physically, and spiritually.

I think life disappointments and the prospects of unrealized expectations occur often in life and they are usually traumatic, but never quite to the degree that infertility is.

If you are a childless couple, there are steps you can take to enhance your relationship so that it grows and thrives.

1.      Honor your marriage vows- Be a team, you are to stick it out in good times and in bad times. Always approach the issues as a team, working together and finding ways to share responsibility regarding treatment. Do not blame each other, Protect your spouse!

 

2.    Separate baby-making from love- I’ll be honest, Infertility is a mood killer. Try to keep the sex alive. Plan romantic encounters and understand that sexual intimacy does not have to mean intercourse (how true is that?). Purpose to enjoy sex. Sexual union places the marriage relationship in a category apart from any other human relationship.

3.      Identify individual coping styles under stress- Childlessness and infertility involves many emotions; intense feelings of anger, anxiety, frustration, helplessness, loneliness, grief, envy, and even depression. Accept the differences in how each of you handles and deals with your feelings to lessen conflicts. 

Naturally, men and women will feel and deal differently with infertility. However, different doesn’t mean better or worse; it only means not the same.

4.      Give your spouse some breathing space- Understand that couples are rarely at the same place, at the same time, especially during infertility treatment.

5.      Together, make Important Decisions and Create A Plan- If you decide to pursue fertility treatment as a priority, but use all your money on vacations, you will likely not get any closer to success. Fertility Treatment is expensive and insurance does not cover it. 

Be assertive in deciding what you want and do not want to do. You have the right to make your own decisions including treatment. 

Remain married regardless of childlessness and infertility.