I. Wait!!!
First, do not adopt, I have this doktari/ prophet/ medicine man/ witch
a)
People do not just wake up and decide to adopt. Most
have walked the lonely journey of infertility, visited dozens of clinics, they have
prayed and have been prayed for and some have drunk gallons of bitter herbs. So,
please, go slow on the recommendations
b)
Some people, like us neither believe nor engage in
witchcraft.
II. “Now
that you are adopting, you will for sure get pregnant.
a)
Please don’t assume it. Most adopting couples have
grieved and healed from the loss that comes with infertility. The journey to
healing is usually bumpy and uncertain, with many crushed hopes evidenced by
the monthly flow. Go slow on such comments
III. Why have you given up in God?
a)
Is it possible to give up on a God who grants us
the miracle of incomprehensible peace and joy? Is it possible to be truly be
peaceful when you have given up on the giver and creator of these spiritual
gifts?
b)
Why would anyone give up on the all wise God who
performs the miracle of; healing our broken hearts, helping us stick through
together then giving us the deep desire to adopt, not one but many children? Why
would anyone give up on such a good Father?
c)
Adoption is God’s will. The devil would never give
anyone the desire to want to love and take care of children they have not given
birth to.
IV. Have you selected the baby yet?
a)
No, we have not. It’s illegal to walk into a
children’s home and select a child for adoption. Only registered Adoption Agencies
place children in families, additionally only the High Court can grant an
adoption order. Adoption is both a social and a legal process and it starts at
the Adoption Agency, not the Children’s Home.
V. Can you really afford adopting a
child in this country?
a)
In Kenya, you are not allowed to buy a child. Any
person who gives money/ any valuable in exchange of a child engages in child
trafficking and commits a crime.
b)
However, adoption being a legal process, most
people prefer engaging a lawyer in the later stages for the court procedures. The
legal fees are fair and negotiable.
VI. What if you get your own
children, will you be able to love the adopted ones?
a)
Child birth and adoption are mutually exclusive.
You cannot adopt to replace a child you wish you birthed. An adopted child is a
child in their full capacity and should never be a Plan B. All adopting parents
must first heal from the grief of childlessness/infertility.
b)
I am not a parent yet but from my interaction with
adoptive parents (those with adopted and biological children), I think Biology
is the least of what makes someone a parent. Love makes one a good parent. We have
all seen many bio-parents abandon/ abuse/ neglect their children giving me the
conclusion that love is more emotional than physical. The bond you form with a
child has nothing to do with whether the child is biological or adopted; it has
everything to do with the experiences you share together. The same is true with
your spouse, in-laws, pets, friends, and anyone else in your life whom you love
dearly but don’t share a blood relation with.
Hope you
enjoy this read, Lots of love.