Dear sister in the pew across mine:
I see the way you grip your hands when
you see your younger siblings take over the corporate scene. I see the way you
try not to cry as you watch your younger sister get married. I see the way you
lean your head back blinking back tears as your best friend brings forth new
life into this world. I see the way you stare straight ahead, willing not to
think about it.
I see you.
When my husband and I walk into that
church meeting, your eyes catch mine and then quickly look away. Turning
from the sight of someone who has what you want. Anything to keep from dwelling
on what you want, but you do not have.
I see you at the grocery store, too. At
the park. At the restaurant. At the work party, the neighborhood potluck, the
family reunion.
But somehow it feels even more painful
when I see you at church. Maybe it’s because I know you’ll have to sit in that
wedding ceremony for a whole hour, not just one quick turn down the store’s
aisle or a sidewalk’s length at the park.
Let me encourage you, I also have that
one thorn in the flesh that I wish the Lord would take away.
I am sitting right where you are (maybe at a
different angle) - musing over an invisible pain, a pain I cannot talk about.
Praying with Aryuv balled in my fists,
praying with tears at the corners of my eyes, praying for the strength not to
envy, praying for this to be the year, praying to a God I cling to and yell at,
all at once.
I can guess know the way you’re
thinking; because I too do question God’s agility, will He ever heal this
invisible pain? A God I wish I could see and touch.
I
wish I could tell you it gets better. I wish I could make these miracles happen
for us. I wish I could prophesy an end to your pain, I wish I could take away
all these thorns.
I
get bogged down by the load I find myself carrying, and am just unable to pray
for myself, but when the praying giant arises, I pray for you – and I assure
you: I see you in your invisible pain.
So while you’re sitting there at church on Sunday,
feeling alone in your pew and alone in your heart, remember that someone
out here sees you and prays for you.
But things can start to shift once we start
seeing each other.
In my invisible pain, the Lord reminded
me this passage of scripture:
Jeremiah
29: 4 This is what the Lord Almighty, the God
of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to
Babylon: 5 “Build houses and settle down;
plant gardens and eat what they produce. 6 Marry
and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters
in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number
there; do not decrease. 7 Also, seek the peace
and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to
the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.” 8 Yes,
this is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says. 10 This
is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for
Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you
back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I
have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to
harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then
you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to
you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you
seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by
you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.[b] I will gather you from all the nations
and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring
you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”
Ø We
are to increase in this season of exile, we are to seek the Peace of God and
the fruition of God’s purposes,
Ø God
still has great plans for us, and in His timing, maybe today, or tomorrow, or
in twenty years’ time, He shall fulfill His good promises to us.
Lots of Love and Grace.
